Have you ever felt invisible? Like someone is talking about you as if you’re not even in the room? They aren’t usually talking about positive things either. Parents do it all the time when talking about their children to other adults and usually the children don’t hear or are just too busy playing to care. However, when this happens to you as a grown adult it can hurt a lot more!
I imagine a lot of people feel invisible while attending church. OK, I might have to explain this one a little. A person who hasn’t made a commitment to Christ walks into a church and what does he/she hear? Often they hear judgment and condemnation for the lifestyle they may be living at that very moment. It’s not directed directly at them, but they get hit with it regardless. They are the unseen casualty of zealous preachers and law-abiding Christians. Sometimes we call it the conviction from the Holy Spirit. No matter what we call it, it’s still outside our job description. Condemnation and judgement have no part in the believer’s response to a broken and hurting world.
At times believers can also be the invisible subjects of unnecessary reproach. As a pastor, I found that one of my favorite means of getting believers to do what I wanted them to do was to talk about them as if they weren’t even in the room. I would start sentences with the phrase, “some believers…” and then go on to describe how they miserably fail to attain the high moral standards of holiness or fail to maintain a daily relationship with God. Then I would contrast that with how a believer should really live, giving compelling scriptural support to my chastisement. The reality is that most of the people I was talking to were struggling. Although I had great intentions and my heart was to see my congregation grow, my approach was little more than a manipulation tactic incorporating shame to propel people toward holiness.
It is way more effective to speak to people’s potential and call out their God-given purpose. You can even do that right to their face, without fear of retribution. It allows the individual to grow and find confidence in themselves and with God without shame. That is a win, win! Church is supposed to be a safe place. Let’s stop throwing rocks at invisible targets. You may not hear an audible cry of pain, but anytime you throw rocks, someone gets hurt.
Thanks for you honesty here Rennie. You are right, often we do hurt people by pretending we don’t see them. Love the line about throwing rocks at invisible targets.
great insight, Rennie.
Thank you for sharing this! I wish more people that were in leadership in local churches would take the time to read this and respond accordingly. I have to be perfectly honest, this has kept me from actively attending churches as even though I know I have a purpose and one that could be a blessing most ministry’s, at the same time I feel like I am not wanted merely because I do not fit the typical social stereotyping that seems to take place in our churches. So sad, however, I know that I am not the only one who feels like this!
Thanks for your kind words Mr Editor
. The sad reality is that churches and leadership rarely change from the inside out. They get stuck in their ways just like anyone else. I am learning to be content with God and comfortable with who I am and content in my understanding that it’s His church. He has a master plan…just hopefully He hasn’t lost it 
Good post, I like it. I just have a problem with one small part: ” usually the children don’t hear or are just too busy playing to care.” I have been that child, I know many who have been that child, and I know that child today. Believe me that child does hear, and that child does care, and that child has been stung deeper , and affected greater than you can imagine. To us adults, children quite effectively make it look like they did not hear, or do not care, when in reality they have just suffered such tremendous damage that they will struggle with it the rest of their lives. Aside from that one point, this is a great post. I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Welcome and thank-you for your additional insight to my post. I contemplated whether or not include that, but not having children of my own and not being scarred by those types of experiences I didn’t feel like I had the authority to speak directly to the issue. I guess we all bring a little piece of the puzzle to the table.